Long Time Ago, It was You

If this tears can make you come after me again, I would cry all day night for you..

If this tears can bring you back to me, I would do it until this tears can’t flow anymore..

If this tears can make you here, I would cry and called your name out loud..

If this tears….. really exhausted, just because you, I won’t ever blame at you..

just here with me.....

I still remember. The day you said, that true love never lets you to suffer. Because love brings happiness. Well, it was not totally wrong, and also not totally right. But, why couldn’t I say it loudly to you?? And made you understand, my happiness is simple…..

Have you well known me?? Why.. you didn’t feel my feeling with you. All the things we did, have made a thousand smile on me. Didn’t you see that?? Why didn’t you understand??

My day became brighter when I saw your smile. It didn’t matter what we do, you made everything seem better. Easily, you put a smile on my face, and I wanted it for every morning. You’re my sunshine.. You’re my lighter....

My simply happiness was with you, even it came with suffer. It’s simple, wasn’t it?? You always thought you never good enough for me. Why didn’t you understand?? Why did you always try to be anyone else to make me happy?? Anyone who I have never known before, it wasn’t you.. you changed.....

If my happiness came with tears, couldn’t you see that?? Would you say, I’m suffering with you?? My happiness was you, it was you, you who didn’t become anyone else. Just being you. You….

And my suffer, was when time separated us, was when distance made I couldn’t feel you, was when said……. Just find another man better than you, and you disappeared from my eyes, my life….

For that time, it’s all over……………………

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Hilangnya Perasaanku

gambar editan, gambar asli disini.

Aku baru merasakan hari ini, ketika sebuah tragedi kehidupan benar-benar terjadi. Sebuah tragedi yang siapapun pasti tak kan pernah ingin mengalaminya. Hal yang seharusnya tidak aku lakukan.

Seharusnya, siapapun yang melewati hal ini, pasti akan meluap-luap emosinya. Tapi apa yang terjadi padaku?? Apa yang aku rasakan?? Nggak ada, benar-benar flat. Logikaku berpikir, harusnya aku bersedih, meneteskan derai air mata, dan emosiku meluap-luap. Tapi apa?? Aku tak merasakan apa-apa, aku diam. Terpaku. Bukan kaget, bukan pula bersedih. Aku benar-benar tidak merasakan apa-apa. Perasaanku benar-benar kosong. Hampa.

Oh Tuhan.. aku benar-benar dalam ketakutan. Ketika aku tak dapat lagi merasakan hal yang dirasakan manusia normal biasanya, aku takut. Bahkan dalam ketakutanku pun aku tak dapat menangis. Tuhan, ada apa ini??

Apakah aku sudah kehilangan perasaan?? Apakah perasaan itu pergi meninggalkanku?? Tuhan, aku benar-benar tak dapat merasakan apapun sekarang, sedih pun tidak, bahagia pun tidak. Perasaan apa ini Tuhan?? Apakah aku telah benar-benar mati rasa?? Kenapa aku tidak dapat tersenyum, dan menangis??

Tuhan.. aku mohon.. kembalikan rasaku, kembalikan emosiku, kembalikan hatiku.. aku ketakutan dalam rasa ini.. maafkan aku Tuhan, tidak bisa menjaga rasa yang telah Kau titipkan padaku.. maafkan aku yang terlalu menggunakan perasaan, hingga pada akhirnya Kau hilangkan perasaan yang ada agar aku kembali menggunakan logikaku dengan baik kembali..

Dan terima kasih Tuhan, Engkau masih menyisakan sedikit perasaan untukku, meskipun yang hanya dapat aku rasa hanyalah perasaan khawatir, meskipun hanya itu....

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Mind Map : Basisdata

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