ChiCuapCuap~

June was filled with simple moments that somehow became some of the most memorable ones. There were no big trips or extraordinary achievements, but watching my son perform on stage, attending a wedding as a family, enjoying a staycation, and reflecting on parenthood made this month feel incredibly meaningful.

This was my son's second time performing on stage. This time, he danced to Baby Shark at one of the biggest shopping malls in my city. It seems to be an annual event organized by his daycare. While it's probably a great marketing opportunity for the school, for us parents it's much more than that it's a chance for our children to build confidence and experience performing in front of an audience. Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. My little shark danced, although quite shyly.

I don't know why such a seemingly ordinary moment made me so emotional. It feels like only yesterday he was still a baby, and now he's standing on a stage in front of so many people. This was already his second performance, and what made us even prouder was that he didn't cry, unlike some of his classmates.

My son is naturally quiet, observant, and rather shy. So seeing him stand on stage without his mom and dad, without bursting into tears, was already more than enough to make us happy. The fact that he followed his teachers' instructions and joined the dance, even if a little timidly, made us incredibly proud.

Thank you, my dear. Mom and Dad couldn't be prouder.

This month we also attended a friend's wedding, who also happens to be one of my husband's close friends. It had been a long time since we last attended a wedding. Most of our friends are already married, and since I'm not originally from this city, many of my closest friends still live back in my hometown.

The wedding venue was outdoors. It was quite hot during the day, but thankfully there were plenty of trees and a gentle breeze that made it much more comfortable.

One reason we rarely attend weddings with our son is the loud music. We've always worried about how it might affect his hearing and overall comfort. To be honest, I've often wondered why some parents bring babies to events where the speakers are blasting music at full volume. It just doesn't seem worth the risk. This time, though, we felt he was old enough, so we decided to bring him along.

The second challenge was the smoking. Since the event was outdoors, several guests were smoking, which has always been something that frustrates me. Clean air should be everyone's right, especially when children are around. Usually, I quietly fan the smoke away or deliberately walk past the smokers while holding my son, hoping they'll notice there's a child nearby. I'm still not brave enough to ask them directly to stop.

Fortunately, our little one was incredibly cooperative throughout the event. I had worried because it overlapped with his usual nap time and lunchtime. He did get a little fussy from being sleepy, but after eating, he happily entertained himself with a small toy car I had brought from home. While he played, my husband and I took turns enjoying our lunch. It made me realize that bringing a toddler to events like this isn't as overwhelming as I had imagined. Somehow, I felt proud that we're slowly becoming more confident taking him to different places.

We also planned another little staycation this month. This time, we stayed at a hotel using a complimentary voucher we had received. Ironically, it wasn't as enjoyable as we expected. Maybe because it was free? Haha.

Our room had three single beds. At home, my son and I comfortably share a queen-size bed. He's still very much an active sleeper, rolling around like the blades of a spinning fan all night long. Sleeping together on a single bed suddenly felt incredibly cramped. Why didn't he sleep on his own? Because I was afraid he'd roll right off the bed. Hotels rarely provide bolsters, so my husband even gave up his pillow so we could use it as a barrier to keep our little one safe.

The funny part was that, despite all our efforts, he still managed to roll around in his sleep and bump into the wall a few times. We felt sorry for him, but at the same time, we couldn't help laughing.

That's just life with a toddler who never stays still, even while sleeping.

Thankfully, the hotel did have one thing that made the trip worthwhile: a swimming pool. After daycare, our son got to spend a little time splashing around in the water, and as always, that was enough to make him incredibly happy.

Toward the end of the month, it was time to receive his semester report from daycare. This time, the report card meeting was accompanied by a sharing session led by a professional in food science. Listening to the discussion brought back memories of the countless hours I spent researching complementary feeding (MPASI) when my son was younger. At the same time, it reopened an old wound that has never fully healed, the ongoing struggle of helping him gain weight. The session reminded me that parenthood is filled with endless questions. Are we doing enough? Are we making the right choices? Could we be doing something better? Since I found the discussion incredibly valuable, I decided to write a separate blog post sharing what I learned about the challenges of helping children gain weight.

Looking back, June wasn't a month filled with major milestones or exciting adventures. Instead, it was a collection of small moments that quietly reminded me how quickly my son is growing. Watching him become a little braver, taking him to places we once avoided, laughing through an imperfect staycation, and continuing to learn as a parent, all of these little experiences became the memories that defined our June.

Sometimes, the smallest moments are the ones that stay with us the longest.

Akhir-akhir ini aku kembali mulai mencari tahu bagaimana cara membantu menaikkan berat badan anakku. Usianya sekarang sekitar 2 tahun 8 bulan, dengan berat badan yang masih berada di kisaran 11 kg. Tidak bisa dibilang sangat kurus, tetapi memang berada di batas bawah untuk usianya. Karena itu, aku mulai bertanya-tanya. Apakah ada makanan tertentu yang bisa membantu menambah berat badannya?

Salah satu saran yang cukup sering kudengar adalah memasak nasi dengan santan agar kalorinya bertambah. Awalnya aku mengira itu adalah solusi yang tepat. Namun setelah mencari informasi lebih dalam, ternyata santan memang bisa menambah kalori, tetapi bukan berarti menjadi satu-satunya jawaban. Yang lebih penting adalah memahami kebutuhan kalori anak terlebih dahulu. Untuk anak usia sekitar 2–3 tahun, kebutuhan energi umumnya berada di kisaran 1.000–1.300 kkal per hari. Jika tujuan utamanya adalah mengejar kenaikan berat badan, target sekitar 1.200–1.400 kkal per hari bisa menjadi acuan, tentunya dengan tetap memperhatikan kondisi masing-masing anak dan arahan dokter.

Hal lain yang baru kusadari adalah menaikkan berat badan tidak selalu berarti membuat anak makan lebih banyak. Justru yang lebih efektif adalah meningkatkan kepadatan kalori dalam setiap porsi makanan. Dengan begitu, meskipun porsinya tetap kecil, energi yang didapatkan bisa lebih banyak. Dalam kasus anakku, tantangannya sedikit berbeda karena ia memiliki alergi kedelai berdasarkan hasil skin prick test, serta lactose intolerance. Artinya, banyak sumber protein dan kalori yang umum diberikan kepada anak justru tidak bisa menjadi pilihan. Untungnya, masih banyak alternatif yang bisa dimanfaatkan. Telur menjadi salah satu sumber protein terbaik jika tidak ada alergi. Ayam, daging sapi, ikan, alpukat, nasi, kentang, ubi, santan, hingga minyak sehat seperti minyak zaitun atau minyak kanola juga dapat membantu meningkatkan asupan kalori.

Dari semua yang kupelajari, ada satu hal yang menurutku paling penting: jangan hanya mengejar angka di timbangan. Yang jauh lebih penting adalah memastikan anak mendapatkan makanan yang bergizi, tinggi protein, cukup lemak sehat, dan kalorinya sesuai kebutuhan. Berat badan yang bertambah adalah bonus dari pola makan yang baik dan konsisten.

Catatan ini sengaja kutulis sebagai pengingat untuk diriku sendiri. Mungkin suatu hari nanti aku lupa makanan apa saja yang pernah kupelajari, atau mungkin ada orang tua lain yang sedang berada di situasi yang sama. Semoga catatan sederhana ini bisa menjadi titik awal untuk memahami bahwa menaikkan berat badan anak bukan tentang mencari makanan yang paling "menggemukkan", tetapi tentang memberikan nutrisi yang tepat dengan cara yang tepat. Jangan panik jika angka di timbangan bergerak pelan. Selama pertumbuhan tetap dipantau, kebutuhan gizinya terpenuhi, dan ia tumbuh menjadi anak yang aktif serta sehat, berarti kita sedang berjalan di jalur yang benar.

10 Makanan Tinggi Kalori untuk Anak dengan Alergi Kedelai & Lactose Intolerance

Catatan: Kalori di bawah ini merupakan perkiraan dan dapat sedikit berbeda tergantung ukuran serta cara pengolahannya.

Contoh "Upgrade Kalori" Tanpa Menambah Porsi

• Nasi putih (130 kkal) → dimasak dengan santan menjadi sekitar 180–200 kkal.
• Telur dadar → ditumis dengan 1 sdt minyak, bertambah sekitar 40 kkal.
• Kentang rebus → ditambahkan sedikit minyak zaitun, bertambah sekitar 40 kkal.
• Setengah buah alpukat sebagai camilan sudah menyumbang sekitar 160 kkal.

Yang perlu diingat, kalori bukan satu-satunya tujuan. Setiap kali makan usahakan selalu ada:

• Karbohidrat sebagai sumber energi.
• Protein sebagai bahan pembangun tubuh.
• Lemak sehat untuk meningkatkan kepadatan kalori.
• Sayur dan buah sebagai sumber vitamin, mineral, dan serat.

Dengan prinsip ini, setiap suapan menjadi lebih bernilai, sehingga anak tidak harus makan dalam porsi besar untuk memenuhi kebutuhan energinya.

Ternyata menaikkan berat badan anak bukan berarti memberikan makanan sebanyak-banyaknya. Yang jauh lebih penting adalah membuat setiap suapan menjadi lebih bernilai: ada karbohidrat sebagai sumber energi, protein untuk pertumbuhan, dan lemak sehat untuk menambah kepadatan kalori. Dengan begitu, meskipun anak makannya sedikit, kebutuhan energinya tetap lebih mudah tercukupi.

Akhir-akhir ini aku sering berpikir bahwa perubahan besar tidak selalu harus dimulai dari langkah yang besar. Terkadang, menjadi sedikit lebih baik dari hari kemarin saja sudah cukup. Karena itulah aku ingin memulai sebuah proyek kecil yang aku beri nama Better Me.

Konsepnya sederhana. Setiap bulan, aku akan memilih satu kebiasaan baik untuk dilatih dan dijadikan bagian dari kehidupan sehari-hari. Tidak perlu banyak target sekaligus, tidak perlu perubahan drastis yang sulit dipertahankan. Cukup satu hal kecil yang dilakukan secara konsisten.

Mungkin ada yang bertanya, kenapa hanya satu tantangan dalam satu bulan?

Jawabannya karena membangun kebiasaan itu tidak mudah. Sering kali kita terlalu bersemangat di awal. Kita membuat banyak target sekaligus, ingin menjadi pribadi yang lebih disiplin, lebih sehat, lebih rajin beribadah, lebih produktif, dan masih banyak lagi. Namun karena terlalu banyak yang harus dijaga, akhirnya semuanya terasa berat dan perlahan ditinggalkan.

Aku tidak ingin mengulang kesalahan yang sama.

Harapannya, dengan fokus pada satu kebiasaan selama minimal satu bulan, kebiasaan tersebut bisa lebih mudah menempel dan menjadi bagian dari rutinitas sehari-hari. Setelah terasa lebih stabil, barulah menambahkan tantangan berikutnya.

Untuk proyek pertama ini, aku memilih sesuatu yang sangat mendasar:

Sholat Isya sebelum tidur malam.

Jujur saja, aku masih jauh dari kata konsisten dalam urusan sholat. Ada kalanya aku mengerjakan tepat waktu, ada kalanya terlambat, bahkan tidak jarang ada yang terlewat. Bukan sesuatu yang membanggakan untuk diakui, tetapi itulah kenyataannya. Karena itu, aku merasa tidak perlu membuat target yang terlalu tinggi terlebih dahulu. Aku tidak memulai dengan target sholat berjamaah lima waktu, tidak juga dengan target selalu sholat di awal waktu.

Targetku kali ini jauh lebih sederhana.

Sebelum tidur malam, aku harus memastikan bahwa sholat Isya sudah dikerjakan. Mungkin terdengar sepele. Bahkan bagi sebagian orang, ini adalah hal yang sangat dasar. Namun setiap perjalanan pasti dimulai dari langkah pertama, dan inilah langkah pertama yang ingin aku ambil.

Semoga satu bulan ke depan aku bisa menjalaninya dengan konsisten. Dan semoga ketika tantangan ini berakhir, sholat Isya bukan lagi sesuatu yang harus dipaksa untuk dilakukan, melainkan sudah menjadi kebiasaan yang terasa aneh jika ditinggalkan. 

Karena pada akhirnya, tujuan dari proyek Better Me bukanlah menjadi sempurna dalam semalam. Tujuannya adalah menjadi sedikit lebih baik, satu kebiasaan pada satu waktu.

Out of the 31 days in May, 15 of them were holidays. Nearly half of the month was spent away from the usual work routine. It truly felt like the definition of work-life balance that people often talk about. 

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if every month had this many holidays. Perhaps stress levels would be much lower. On the other hand, work might feel more rushed because there would be fewer effective working days. Who knows? What I do know is that the number of holidays this May was enough to make me lose track of the days more than once. There were moments when I had to stop and think for a second just to remember what day it was.

With so much free time available, we decided to have a staycation in our own city in the middle of the month. Yay, finally some quality time with the family. We intentionally looked for a place with a swimming pool and a more relaxed atmosphere. Not a large, crowded hotel, but a small villa that felt warm and private. Alhamdulillah, it turned out to be such a wonderful experience. We did not have to travel far, yet it felt enough to recharge the energy that had gradually been running low.

Toward the end of the month, my parents came to visit and spend time with their grandchild. Their visit lasted only about four days, but it was more than enough for me. Seeing them healthy, having conversations together, and watching them play with their grandchild brought a kind of happiness that is difficult to put into words. There is always a special warmth that comes with family gatherings, no matter how brief they may be.

Sometimes I wish every month included a few extra holidays in addition to weekends. However, as a parent, I also understand the dilemma that comes with it. When there is a public holiday, children are usually off from school as well. That means extra energy, patience, and attention are needed for parenting. In the end, a day off does not always mean a day of rest.

Perhaps that is simply part of adulthood. We constantly look forward to having time to rest, yet when that time finally arrives, there is always something else that needs our attention. Still, May reminded me that rest is not always about sleeping longer or doing less. Sometimes, rest is seeing your parents smile, hearing your child laugh, or simply spending time with the people you love. Because in the end, the energy drained by daily routines is often restored not when we stop moving, but when we remember who we are doing it all for.

As we grow older, we come to realize that rest is not always about stopping work; sometimes, it is about returning to the people and moments that make life meaningful.

For the past few days, something in my husband has felt… altered. Not abruptly, not loudly, but in a way that unsettles. As if something within him has quietly shifted out of place. Our laughter, once harmless, now seems to grate on him too loud, too intrusive. Whatever my child does is deemed wrong, and somehow, I become the recipient of his discontent. Each time his temper rises, I retreat into silence. Not because I am blameless, nor because I have nothing to say, but because I have learned that resistance only prolongs the unrest.

And yet, at the very beginning of this month, something fractured.

We argued, truly argued, in a way we rarely do. Because this time, I did not remain silent. I answered him. I met his gaze without flinching. I returned every harsh word, my composure unraveling until even my own restraint betrayed me, and even threw my phone in a surge of emotion.

It all unfolded before our child, who was already crying in pain, his small arm having been roughly pulled as my husband dragged him from the living room, where laughter had only moments before filled the air.

The contrast was unbearable.

Truthfully, I have been enduring for far longer than I care to admit. Existing in a state of quiet endurance, hoping that something might shift on its own.

He is aware that he is unemployed, and yet he does not seem to grasp the gravity of that reality. If he cannot yet provide in one way, could he not compensate in another? The house, the child, the invisible labor that sustains our daily lives these are not mine alone to carry.

Isn’t this our home? Then why does everything feel like it’s solely my responsibility? The house, our child, everything falls on me. I am so, so tired. And yet, I carry them. Exhaustion has become a constant undercurrent in me. Meanwhile, he drifts through his days, retiring at three in the morning after hours of gaming, waking near midday, repeating the same rhythm without disruption. Even in moments meant for togetherness, his attention remains tethered to his phone. His presence is merely physical, his mind and affections remain elsewhere, inaccessible.

It is a peculiar kind of loneliness. And slowly, inevitably, it ignited something in me. All of this kept building inside me until I finally broke.

If even our laughter is an affront to him, then perhaps it is we who must leave. I told him we would return to my parents’ home, to a place where my child’s joy would not be treated as a disturbance. I spoke with a steadiness that belied the turbulence within me. My child’s cries threaded through every word, turning the moment into something I will not easily forget.

Then he left. No explanation. No attempt to mend what had just been shattered. Just absence.

A thought, stark and unsettling, crossed my mind. If his anger had escalated further, if he had raised his hand again, that would have been my definitive moment. The moment I would leave without hesitation. But somehow, he held himself back.

Still, I could not help but wonder, he has only just secured a single freelance project, and already he carries himself as though burdened beyond measure. If such a small responsibility unsettles him, what would happen if he were entrusted with more? 

A harsher thought followed, unbidden. Perhaps this is why he has not yet been granted stability. Perhaps he is not ready. And yet, even as the thought formed, I recoiled from it. What kind of wife entertains such notions?

I have been told, often, that a wife must remain grateful, must remain supportive, that a wife’s disposition can ease her husband’s path to provision. But if that gratitude must be feigned, does it still hold meaning? And would God not perceive the dissonance between what is spoken and what is truly felt?

Then came another possibility, distance.

Perhaps we would be better apart, at least for a time. Perhaps in separation, we might find clarity that proximity has denied us. Or perhaps… it is nothing more than a justification, a quiet permission I grant myself to leave a home that no longer feels hospitable to my child’s laughter.

Some time later, he returned. He held us, both of us and apologized. His voice softer, his presence gentler, as though attempting to gather what had come undone.

But something within me remained unmoved.

And that, perhaps, is what troubles me most, not the anger, not the argument, but the quiet, growing realization that forgiveness no longer comes to me as easily as it once did.